Mistress
by JoeMerl
Summary: Kreacher remembers his Mistress' life, from childhood until she became a screaming portrait on the wall of 12 Grimmauld Place. And he knows just who to blame for that, too. One-shot.


This is just a random idea that struck me one day and demanded to be written down, and now I've finally edited and posted it. This is supposed to be Kreacher narrating, but it's a bit confusing because A.) he refers to himself in the third-person and B.) he pretty much never refers to anyone by name, just as things like "Master" and "Mistress." Hopefully it's clear enough here, though; either way, please leave me a review to tell me what you thought. Thanks! (It's my birthday, incidentally...if that makes you feel more inclined to do so. ;-) Enjoy!

* * *

She wasn't always like this.

Oh, Kreacher remembers the days when his Mistress was still her same old self. Back when she was the beautiful, living Mistress that Kreacher loved so dearly. Kreacher is a good elf, devoted to his Mistress. Not the filthy, Muggle-loving traitor his new Master and his filthy friends want him to be...

Kreacher has served his Mistress all of her life, you know. Kreacher remembers when she was a child...oh, Miss Walburga was such a pretty girl, such a good little child, the perfect daughter for his old Master and Mistress. How they doted on her...and how he loved her, and Master Cygnus and Master Alphard...that one went bad in the end...but ah, how he loved those three children, back when he was a young elf caring for three little ones. Those were happy times for Kreacher, before the hardships began...

Kreacher loved all of his masters, but ah, how he loved Miss Walburga most of all. She was his favorite, she was. Old Master knew that...old Master let Kreacher spoil her, let him bring her treats she wasn't supposed to have and aid her with the lessons she was supposed to do on her own. Old Master knew this, but he never yelled at Kreacher...he let Kreacher do little punishments himself, and never asked why he had smashed his fingers in the door or pounded nails into his foot...

Ah, Kreacher loves remembering Miss Walburga as a child. So smart she was, so clever...how she mastered her studies, smarter even than her brothers, who were very smart, of course, all three proud children worthy of their name. And then she went off to Hogwarts, and ah, how she excelled...Slytherin like all the others (oh, how Kreacher and his masters were proud), and her awards, her high marks, and the stories of how she besotted all the boys of the school...

Master became Miss Walburga's primary suitor; and Kreacher's old Master liked this, Master had good lineage, he was a Black too, old Master's cousin's son. It was good to keep the family together, to strengthen our ties...Master's line was not quite so regal, it was old Master who excelled above all his kin, but old Master approved. Ah, how Kreacher remembers Mistress' engagement party, how she and Master looked so beautiful dancing together...and her wedding, enchanting in her long white dress. Kreacher still has that dress, hidden away high up in the attic...his new Master has not discovered all of Kreacher's hiding places. If he knew, he would want to throw it away...it's old, new Master says, it has mothballs, and I don't want anything to remind me of that old hag. Oh! How Kreacher hates him! Does he not care that it was his mother's dress, and his grandmother's before her? Does he not care, that Kreacher's own dear mother sewed it with her own hands, the good elf that she was, hoping that it would be worn by Blacks for generations and generations to come? If you had been a good son, you could have had a lovely Pureblood wife to wear that dress...

When Mistress got married, old Master allowed Kreacher to go with her; old Master was a good master, he knew how much Kreacher loved his Mistress, how Mistress loved her Kreacher, and so Miss Walburga became Kreacher's Mistress, and oh how happy Kreacher was. And Mistress was so happy, at first, in her marriage, Master and Mistress were happy...but Mistress wanted a child, and for a long time it seemed that Mistress would never get her wish. When it did seem that fate had smiled on her, her dreams would always be dashed...the blood would come, and then Kreacher's hope of a new little Master would vanish, and he would comfort Mistress as she wept and hoped to one day have a child survive...

And then, finally, our wishes were granted; Master Sirius was born, and a few years later, Master Regulus, and how Mistress and Master were pleased. And how Kreacher loved to take care of these two...Kreacher liked Master Regulus the best...he was so much like his dear Mistress, he was, clever and smart. Master Sirius was too wild for Kreacher...and oh, how he went on to break Mistress' heart, to break her...

It's all Master's fault.

Blood-traitor swine! Did he care? NO! The tears were not yet dried for Master Regulus, and then he _leaves,_ he abandons my Mistress, leaves her like trash! Did he care that Master Regulus was gone? No! Did he care how his parents wept? No! Oh, my poor Master, the haunted look in his eye...and my poor old Mistress, how she wept, how she cried, how she begged Kreacher to tell what he could of where Master Regulus might be, but Kreacher could not tell, he could not comfort his Mistress, hard as he tried...and then Master goes and _LEAVES HER!_ Leaves her alone and childless, to go and gallivant with blood-traitors and Mudbloods to bring down his own parents and the glory of his name! Was it not enough for Mistress to lose one child? Was it not enough, after years of prayer, to have one beloved child snatched from her arms? Could Master not leave her some comfort, some hope? But no...he did not like the praises, the mourning, he did not want to hear about what a hero Master Regulus had been, and he did not want to hear what Master and Mistress believed, that his own friends would be behind it, his beloved friends working against the Dark Lord, they were sure they must be behind Master Regulus' disappearance...

And then he left, and Mistress and Master were left all alone...but Master did not live long...he could not survive after so much disappointment, and then it was Mistress and Kreacher, all alone in the house. But Kreacher did not mind this...Kreacher loved his Mistress, she was all that mattered to him, and Kreacher did all he could to make her happy, Kreacher tried so hard...and Mistress loved her Kreacher, Kreacher was her only comfort, she said, how she loved Kreacher, what a good elf he was...

And then Mistress died...oh, how sad Kreacher was, how he screamed and cried and thrashed, before he found the portrait. Mistress had not abandoned her Kreacher, no, Mistress was still here...Kreacher could always come to his Mistress to speak to, and Kreacher still loved his Mistress, and Mistress loved her Kreacher. And Kreacher could do all that his Mistress needed of him, he did not even need to leave the house anymore...Mistress did not need food, and Kreacher could survive without much. He could stay with her, and watch her precious things, and help her...

But sometimes...sometimes Mistress did not seem to love her Kreacher. Sometimes Mistress would get angry at Kreacher, Kreacher tried his best, but sometimes it was hard for poor Kreacher...Kreacher was getting old, but that was no excuse, Mistress said, how could Kreacher fail in his duties toward her? Mistress screamed at him, threatened him, Mistress could not hurt Kreacher but she could order him to hurt himself, and Kreacher did. Kreacher did not have to, he discovered...Mistress was dead, only his Master, locked away in Azkaban, could command him now. But Kreacher wanted to obey his Mistress...how could Kreacher not? He loved his Mistress so...

...Even as she became angrier, and stranger, and made odd requests of Kreacher...even as Mistress became harder to please, ordered him to do impossible things, then screamed at him when he failed, what a bad elf Kreacher was, how miserable, how rotten.

Kreacher did not like this...Kreacher loved his Mistress, and Kreacher knew his Mistress would not treat Kreacher this way. What had Mistress become so angry?

Kreacher knew.

It was _his_ fault.

All those years, and _he _never came...never came to speak to his mother, never came to pay his last respects, did not come to claim the birthright that it was his solemn duty to uphold. He tells Kreacher lies why he did not come...but Kreacher does not believe them, his Mistress is too smart to believe them. Mistress is unhappy, but Mistress is still so wise...Kreacher is only an elf. Kreacher alone could never satisfy his Mistress...

And now Mistress is never happy anymore...Mistress hates Kreacher's Master, and Kreacher hates him too, but Kreacher also knows that it is _his_ fault for this, that _he_ made them to hate him when Mistress only wanted to love. Master turned Mistress' love into hate, and now, sometimes, Kreacher worries that Mistress does not love him anymore. But then Kreacher punishes himself for this...because of course Mistress loves Kreacher, And Kreacher loves his Mistress too.

And he hates, how he hates his Master, for causing Mistress so much pain.


End file.
